The Best of a Bad Bunch Boy!

G-A-Y Club, Heaven. Under the Arches, Villiers Street, London, WCN2 6N2.

Thursday night at London’s biggest gay spot; G-A-Y at Heaven. Walking through the metal detectors I question – am I at a club? Am I at an airport? Please be airport I beg, but the consolation prize is that it’s the beginning of another great night out. I walk through the detectors with that feeling we all get – am I guilty,? Will I get frisked? As always I’m safely through, next hurdle was the promo boys trying to get you to enter into PORN IDOL!!!  “No thanks” I quickly say, avoiding eye contact at all times. After handing in my flyer for free entry we head straight to the bar. Drinks are more than reasonably and start from £2.50, may as well get 2 at a time haha. Heaven is a huge and interesting building; there are many rooms with a variety of music to suit ALL tastes. The natural stone walls make you wonder what went on here years previous. The night progresses and more and more people fill the open space, to my delight lots of godlike creatures roam the club many of whom shirtless (where are these people during the day?). Our dancing is rudely interrupted by the infamous “Jeremy Joseph” who has started to introduce the night’s entertainment – Porn Idol. He introduces 4 judges, warms up the crowd and then outcomes the first contestant. At this point I am unsure at what lengths these people will go to, to win a paltry £100. It turns out these people will stop at nothing to win, removing all clothing and attempting to dance to the backing music provided. After their “performances” the judges turn evil, Simon Cowell evil. They rip each apart picking out every chink in their armours. Although at first this provides for a light hearted and humorous show, it soon gets boring and repetitive. It encourages the “bitchy queen” stereotype and I was more than glad when it ended awarding £100 to the best of a bad bunch boy. Once the spectacle is over the crowd carries on business as usual. Although I’m sure that the Porn Idol tag lures some to this famous nightspot, personally I feel the night would be better without it. Saying this, it lasts no long than 30 minutes and can be easily avoided by partying on in a different room.

Location - ****

Value for Money - *****

Music -****

Crowd -***

Overall Experience -***

Tip - Free entry vouchers available from G-A-Y bar or via the website -http://www.g-a-y.co.uk/g-a-y-club/nights